very happy!everything getting better now!My family visit me at here and we will go to port dickson together!my oldest siser will ge marry very soon!Congratulation to her and i miss her too!The only thing that i feel sad is i can't go back to hometown and celebrate with here! I have a coursework at my school at the same day!Too Bad!
After she get marry she will mpve to other state and stay together with her husband. Not easy to meety her again and i guess i also will feel boring when i go back home. No people will fight with me, no people will wear the same clothers or same color with me, no people can let me share my secret wioth me at home..........I jz know that how important is her in my life!I VERY MISS HER! i LOVE U --- JIE JIE!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
my college life
What had happen to me start from this month? Everything going worse! I fighting with my friends, fighting with my roommate, fighting with family…….everything everybody i fight!!! Almost everyday is crying! I fail 4subject in my final exam, I break many thing in my room, I become very bad luck! Go out raining heavy, wash clothes also raining heavy and all my clothes is smelly, wet! Do tutorial question, all answer is wrong. When to lecture class feel sleepy; sit for coursework, 3question only 1.a) I know how to do! That mean I just get 5 marks for my coursework! 5marks out of 30marks! This is me college life!
I still remember mum call me and ask me,” do u feel regret for this 2 years after u choose to study accounting at Rahman College?” My answer is 100% YES! Then she start crying and say start from that day everything I do every decision I make I no need to inform her again and I can do anything I like! Even I stop study from now also never mind!!! AFTER I HEAR SHE SAID ALL THIS, MY MIND IS EMPTY!!EMPTY!! I WILL CHOOSE THIS COURSE ALSO BECAUSE OF HER, I WANT TO BECOME A VETERINARY MY PARENTS NO MONEY. I WANT TO BECOME A JOURNALIS, SHE DON’T LIKE. I WANT TO BECOME A NURSE, I HAVE A ‘THIRD EYES’ CAN SEE SOMT THING THAT NORMAL PEOPLE CAN’T SEE, SO I CAN’T DO THAT JOD! SO, I JUST CAN CHOOSE ACCOUNTING! When I still x know anything, I already send to the school’s hostel and start my own live! Very lucky I joined many camp before, so I still ok with that! I know many new friends with my stupid brave and mouth and become classmate until now! They know I no good in account and no accounting background, so every time exam, they must help me in cheating! Although I don’t like that but I still did it! I when to cinema alone , shopping alone, travel alone, do everything alone!
I enjoy my college life, I enjoy alone! But when I feel sad I got no body to talk to. When I face problem I don’t know what to do? I don’t let my family know because I don’t want they worry about me! So now, I already suit myself with fail more than 2subject in every semester! If u tell me I pass all subject in my final exam, I would not trust u but if really happen I will cut my head for u to sit! I promise!! This is my college life! Many lecture and tutor ask me, “why you can pass all theory subject with a very good result but fail all calculation subject with a super bad result?? Are you an accounting student?” Again my answer is NO! I’m a science student and I never study accounting before, I poor in calculation and only interested in science! Tutor continues ask me again,” then why will u take accounting course? Choose science course la!” Again I answer my tutor, “ I choose that because my parents want me to study it, if I choose other course I don’t have enough money to pay for school fees and my mum will not talk with me or support me again!” SO, I ALWAYS REPEATING THE SAME ANSWER TO DIFFERENT TUTOR AND LECTURE AT MY SCHOOL. MY RESULT IS THE LOWEST ONE IN THE CLASS, AND NO BODY WILL ASK ME ‘DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS QUESTION?’ NEVER!!!AND WHEN I TELL THEY THE CORRECT ANSWER AND THE WAY TO CALCULATE IT, PEOPLE ALSO WILL NOT LISTEN OR TRUST ME! BECAUSE MY RESULT IS THE LOWEST ONE IN MY CLASS. I AM THE PERSON WHO FAIL MANY SUBJECT IS ME!!!THIS IS MY LIFE AT COLLEGE! MUM, DID U SEE IT? CAN U FEEL IT?CAN U UNDERSTAND WHAT I WANT?
Last year, I had met a guy. He was a foreigner came to Malaysia for working! We became best friend and start chatting. He was a very lovely , honest, clever and funny man! Fortunately he is a business study too, so what I don’t understand, I just email he my question and he will cal me and explain to me or teach me how to do it! 13.11.07, we start dating. He teach me many thing like how to bear with some one that we don’t like, how to respect other people, how to survive at other country and many languages! His work as an ambassador and his job is translated! So he knows many languages and always tells me the story that he had travel to! Many people told me that better don’t date with him because he is a foreigner, he will leave me one day! So I always test him and mark for him see whether I really can trust him or not. But lastly, I still fall in love to him and we start goes shopping together.
I feel vary happy with that and I hope my family can accept him! So, I go back and told my mum about this. Mum very surprise, worry and sad. She worry I will be cheated by him and ask me stop dating with him again! I very sad, sad and sad! I had cry for more than 8 hours because of this. I am 19 years old gal, except family, he is the first person that make me feel happy, safety, funny…I can get the family feeling from him when I at KL. When my family not with me, I still got him to chat and talk with me. Sharing my happiness, sadness, problems…..But now, I had no contact with him again just because of my mum. Because my mum, my life turns back to sadness, disappointed, boring and lonely! Without his teaching and explanation, I don’t know what my lecture and tutor talking about. I don’t k now what I am doing in the class and also what I am going to do after I finish my class and in the weekdays. Just because KL and Setapak area are not safe, so parent not allow me go out with friends! They only want me stay in my hostel and study! Monday study until Sunday! Except sleeping, eating and bathing, I study 15 hours a day! Again this is my college life! My friends very admire me, before this, they admire and jealous me because I had found a guy who love me more than I love him ( my friends like to talk with him).Now they admire me because I can study for so long time and save many money! So, all the money that I have, I used it to do donation at school ( although my school very rich) and buy so much of food that I like to keep in my room to let me eat!! So u can see how fat am I now!
Oh yeah, now I have a very unique habit! Every night before I sleep, I must cry! If I no cry, I cannot sleep, feel like I forget to do some thing! Cry makes me feel better and have a nice sleep. Some people say I am very strange, some people say I crazy, some people say I very lucky because I not yet blind! So, the conclusion is, crying is the last homework for me before I sleep!
I still remember mum call me and ask me,” do u feel regret for this 2 years after u choose to study accounting at Rahman College?” My answer is 100% YES! Then she start crying and say start from that day everything I do every decision I make I no need to inform her again and I can do anything I like! Even I stop study from now also never mind!!! AFTER I HEAR SHE SAID ALL THIS, MY MIND IS EMPTY!!EMPTY!! I WILL CHOOSE THIS COURSE ALSO BECAUSE OF HER, I WANT TO BECOME A VETERINARY MY PARENTS NO MONEY. I WANT TO BECOME A JOURNALIS, SHE DON’T LIKE. I WANT TO BECOME A NURSE, I HAVE A ‘THIRD EYES’ CAN SEE SOMT THING THAT NORMAL PEOPLE CAN’T SEE, SO I CAN’T DO THAT JOD! SO, I JUST CAN CHOOSE ACCOUNTING! When I still x know anything, I already send to the school’s hostel and start my own live! Very lucky I joined many camp before, so I still ok with that! I know many new friends with my stupid brave and mouth and become classmate until now! They know I no good in account and no accounting background, so every time exam, they must help me in cheating! Although I don’t like that but I still did it! I when to cinema alone , shopping alone, travel alone, do everything alone!
I enjoy my college life, I enjoy alone! But when I feel sad I got no body to talk to. When I face problem I don’t know what to do? I don’t let my family know because I don’t want they worry about me! So now, I already suit myself with fail more than 2subject in every semester! If u tell me I pass all subject in my final exam, I would not trust u but if really happen I will cut my head for u to sit! I promise!! This is my college life! Many lecture and tutor ask me, “why you can pass all theory subject with a very good result but fail all calculation subject with a super bad result?? Are you an accounting student?” Again my answer is NO! I’m a science student and I never study accounting before, I poor in calculation and only interested in science! Tutor continues ask me again,” then why will u take accounting course? Choose science course la!” Again I answer my tutor, “ I choose that because my parents want me to study it, if I choose other course I don’t have enough money to pay for school fees and my mum will not talk with me or support me again!” SO, I ALWAYS REPEATING THE SAME ANSWER TO DIFFERENT TUTOR AND LECTURE AT MY SCHOOL. MY RESULT IS THE LOWEST ONE IN THE CLASS, AND NO BODY WILL ASK ME ‘DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS QUESTION?’ NEVER!!!AND WHEN I TELL THEY THE CORRECT ANSWER AND THE WAY TO CALCULATE IT, PEOPLE ALSO WILL NOT LISTEN OR TRUST ME! BECAUSE MY RESULT IS THE LOWEST ONE IN MY CLASS. I AM THE PERSON WHO FAIL MANY SUBJECT IS ME!!!THIS IS MY LIFE AT COLLEGE! MUM, DID U SEE IT? CAN U FEEL IT?CAN U UNDERSTAND WHAT I WANT?
Last year, I had met a guy. He was a foreigner came to Malaysia for working! We became best friend and start chatting. He was a very lovely , honest, clever and funny man! Fortunately he is a business study too, so what I don’t understand, I just email he my question and he will cal me and explain to me or teach me how to do it! 13.11.07, we start dating. He teach me many thing like how to bear with some one that we don’t like, how to respect other people, how to survive at other country and many languages! His work as an ambassador and his job is translated! So he knows many languages and always tells me the story that he had travel to! Many people told me that better don’t date with him because he is a foreigner, he will leave me one day! So I always test him and mark for him see whether I really can trust him or not. But lastly, I still fall in love to him and we start goes shopping together.
I feel vary happy with that and I hope my family can accept him! So, I go back and told my mum about this. Mum very surprise, worry and sad. She worry I will be cheated by him and ask me stop dating with him again! I very sad, sad and sad! I had cry for more than 8 hours because of this. I am 19 years old gal, except family, he is the first person that make me feel happy, safety, funny…I can get the family feeling from him when I at KL. When my family not with me, I still got him to chat and talk with me. Sharing my happiness, sadness, problems…..But now, I had no contact with him again just because of my mum. Because my mum, my life turns back to sadness, disappointed, boring and lonely! Without his teaching and explanation, I don’t know what my lecture and tutor talking about. I don’t k now what I am doing in the class and also what I am going to do after I finish my class and in the weekdays. Just because KL and Setapak area are not safe, so parent not allow me go out with friends! They only want me stay in my hostel and study! Monday study until Sunday! Except sleeping, eating and bathing, I study 15 hours a day! Again this is my college life! My friends very admire me, before this, they admire and jealous me because I had found a guy who love me more than I love him ( my friends like to talk with him).Now they admire me because I can study for so long time and save many money! So, all the money that I have, I used it to do donation at school ( although my school very rich) and buy so much of food that I like to keep in my room to let me eat!! So u can see how fat am I now!
Oh yeah, now I have a very unique habit! Every night before I sleep, I must cry! If I no cry, I cannot sleep, feel like I forget to do some thing! Cry makes me feel better and have a nice sleep. Some people say I am very strange, some people say I crazy, some people say I very lucky because I not yet blind! So, the conclusion is, crying is the last homework for me before I sleep!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
yes,i did it
hahahahaha....believe or not,i pass all my coursework already!untill now i still can't believe that,it's fel like that not me!hehe....Any way, i have to study more hard to get a more better result for my final exam!"add oil "la...pray for me too!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
some thing wrong
I really feel like some thing wrong with me!In this four days,i already dream 4 type of bad dream when i sleep.I alway "saw" people born and die and of cause i got killing case in my dream too.First,i dream about my secondary school friend's daddy.He was crying.All of his family member were crying in my house and telling me that his dad is get sick!But when i arrive his house to meet his dad, i saw his dad is in emergency and just few minute......he pass away!Again, this is my second time saw people 'pass away' in my dream!I don't know what to do but only can talk to my friend,"This is one of our life,everyone must face this at the end of life, just try to accept it with your natural feeling."Everything is feel like real but it actually never happen in my life.I call my friend(never tell him about my dream),and his dad is ok!Thanks for God this just a dream.
Second, i dream about my classmate at college.Actually i don't likie this girl very much because her eyes is 'growth on her head'!!But that morning,i dream her in my dream again and saw her kill another girl in front of me.i never know what had happened us just saw her catch a girl,push her down and kill her in front of m.I try to save the girl even i don't know her but i just hold the knife that pierced in her chest.After this, the same thing happened again to me!She pass away in front of me.This time,i did't have any sad or scare feeling again when i saw this.I only can say when a "same thing" happened every day in our life it already become a custom to me.
Third,is my turn again!!This morning i dream about myself.But i never saw myself die in my dream but is about strolling around when i sleep!(in my dream) That already mid night but i hear my aunty said they saw my walked at outside the house alone and come back and continue sleeping beside her.They told my mum after this but my think that the ghost is enter my body and ask me go out at night.So start from that day, she not allow me stay alone at home,no more uncooked food,and cannot go to the dark place!This actually a very funny story for me but don't know why i still will feel very scare after i wake up!
I told all my friends and siblings about this because i really very scare some thing will happen to my family or my friends one day!But they said maybe i really too stress in my study and because i like to read novel that talok about UFO,Ghost,Killing and Detective!So,now all the story combine together and show to me again in my dream!I can accept this but can't accept my family or friends become the character in the story!!!NEVER & IMPOSSIBLE!
Second, i dream about my classmate at college.Actually i don't likie this girl very much because her eyes is 'growth on her head'!!But that morning,i dream her in my dream again and saw her kill another girl in front of me.i never know what had happened us just saw her catch a girl,push her down and kill her in front of m.I try to save the girl even i don't know her but i just hold the knife that pierced in her chest.After this, the same thing happened again to me!She pass away in front of me.This time,i did't have any sad or scare feeling again when i saw this.I only can say when a "same thing" happened every day in our life it already become a custom to me.
Third,is my turn again!!This morning i dream about myself.But i never saw myself die in my dream but is about strolling around when i sleep!(in my dream) That already mid night but i hear my aunty said they saw my walked at outside the house alone and come back and continue sleeping beside her.They told my mum after this but my think that the ghost is enter my body and ask me go out at night.So start from that day, she not allow me stay alone at home,no more uncooked food,and cannot go to the dark place!This actually a very funny story for me but don't know why i still will feel very scare after i wake up!
I told all my friends and siblings about this because i really very scare some thing will happen to my family or my friends one day!But they said maybe i really too stress in my study and because i like to read novel that talok about UFO,Ghost,Killing and Detective!So,now all the story combine together and show to me again in my dream!I can accept this but can't accept my family or friends become the character in the story!!!NEVER & IMPOSSIBLE!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
JUST A DREAM
Because of some tecnical problem, i already long time cannot online.Actually i just wake up, got a bad dream just now.i "saw" my grandmother "pass away".It very bad.I never know whate had happened and never prepare myself to accept this type of new.I saw all in my family member in my dream, but every one was crying.Suddenly my mum ask me to meet my grandmother imediately and said she will "gone" soon.I very suprising and doesn't know what i had to do?I just try to no crying in front her and asked her how is her body now.We talked with each other only few minute, then she said she wanted to drink some water,i went to took water and hear many people scream loud from outside.After i arrived there, everyone was embrace her.....
After i wake up,i called to my cousin home and talked to her.She was fine and we also very happy while talk with each other.She still very happy when i told her last week i got the highest mark for my exam(human resources) in my class. I never know i can got 94 marks for this subject and i never get high mark in me exam. This is my first highest record in TAR Collage.Really very happy.hehehe.....
In conclusion,what i saw, is just a bad dream, nothing have happen and nothing will happen too.What i have to do is, study hard to prepare for my coming collage final exam.Try to get a good exam that is a good present to give to my parents and grandma.
After i wake up,i called to my cousin home and talked to her.She was fine and we also very happy while talk with each other.She still very happy when i told her last week i got the highest mark for my exam(human resources) in my class. I never know i can got 94 marks for this subject and i never get high mark in me exam. This is my first highest record in TAR Collage.Really very happy.hehehe.....
In conclusion,what i saw, is just a bad dream, nothing have happen and nothing will happen too.What i have to do is, study hard to prepare for my coming collage final exam.Try to get a good exam that is a good present to give to my parents and grandma.
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